Cruise ships are among the most visible postmodern tourism products, and cruise tourists are the antithesis of cultural tourists. Within the physical cocoon of the ship, a social and cultural cocoon is constructed by the cruise line, sheltering the temporary inhabitants of the ship from the realities of the ports visited. Despite the portrayal of a cruise as an “exotic” holiday, onboard the ship, cruise ships construct a representation of western culture, particularly with the assistance of onboard musical performances. This article considers the performance of the showband, a central ensemble to the musical experience of a cruise vacation. It is the result of an extended period of participant-observation on cruise ships and interviews with showband musicians. The contribution of the showband is found to be central to the construction of a western and cosmopolitan music culture within a deterritorialised and mobile geography. By performance mode and genre, appearance, repertoire, and nationality, the showband constructs a façade of music culture; however, the reality behind the façade is quite different. If the ship may be considered an empty vessel into which culture is poured, it is the music of ensembles such as the showband that creates and defines this culture.