Researchers have frequently confronted dilemmas regarding rigor and validity in their methodological approaches to social inquiry. Problems with access to participants, and indeed, to particular subject groups who do not wish to be identified, much less become part of a formalised research project, are some of the dilemmas facing many researchers. Yet, these reluctant individuals can provide vital insights into the processes of isolation and social exclusion. It is all very well ‘to go to the people’ (Bogdan and Taylor 1998), but how can ‘the people’ be identified and studied, if they do not wish to be recognised, contacted or found? In this paper we focus on a ‘self-excluder’ as an illustrative case study of a larger research project about young families with small children, aged 0-8 years, who choose to live on the fringes of society. Initial access to these ‘self-excluders’ also causes dilemmas, as they are hard to find (Vobruba 2000). First, identifying them, as individuals, and second, gaining access to them through appropriate and ethical research techniques and methods are main points for concern and resolution. Many of these challenges are explored in this paper.